Stuffed Turkey or Istanbulshit?

The mighty (or not so mighty) Arsenal are currently crossing swords with Fenerbahce of Turkey. Lots has been made of the club's lack of expenditure. Do we have any money? Is the manager senile? Questions like these will be plaguing many a Gooner.



With under 2 weeks before the transfer deadline and the 2 legs of a very important Champions League qualifier in the offing, the pressure mounts on the sometimes skeletal Arsene Wenger.

Amidst the hysteria and vulture-like sharpening of talons from the press, I have devised an escape route and most importantly breathing space for Arsenal's underfire custodian.



The escape takes the form of 3 vital steps:

1) Navigate past Fenerbahce into the cashcow of the greed-ridden Champions League.

2) Recruit personnel to strengthen the team (in layman's terms - SPEND SOME FUCKING MONEY!).

3) Probably the toughest ask - defeat close rivals Tottenham Hotspurs 2 days before the transfer deadline.